Typical Asian Parent

Sounds cliche, right? There's no smoke without fire... unless you're dealing with dry ice.

My dear mother is among millions of Asian parents. This morning, she expressed her worry about my sister's employment status to me, for the second time. For your information, my sister is happily married and unemployed.

My mother is worried about what would my sister's mother in law think. She thinks that my sister should work as she is more qualified than my brother in law. My sister is a degree holder while my brother in law's highest qualification is diploma. To me there's nothing wrong. Maybe my sister just couldn't find a suitable job. My mother thinks her in law is 'the glamourous' type of person and would look down on my sister. I have met with my sister's mother in law more than my mother. She is that "glamour" type, but she's not like what my mother thinks. My sister's mother in law knew that my father and mother are more educated than her (that's what she told my when we were chit chatting the other day). I don't know her though and through, but I know she is exited to have a daughter in law. See how she dressed my sister on the wedding reception. I must admit, my sister dressed too girly unlike the normal her. And I know if shit happens, my sister can defend herself. (finger crossing, touch wood, fortunately the desk is made of wood... knock! knock!)

I could understand my mother's concern. There's likely to be frictions between in-laws. Her mother in-law, my paternal grandma wasn't kind to her despite the fact that, she's my mother's first cousin once removed. (Yup, my father and my mother are second cousins. Both my grandmas are first cousin... typical Asian marriage) There's always dispute between the two families. From how to plant fruit trees to land dispute. And it's us, the children, are the victim of circumstance.

And worrying too much runs in the family. Worry should be our surname. Imagine my initial, A. Worry. Don't laugh. That's a real surname.

Back to the issue. Asian parents worry too much. For how you look, to what you eat. My father, who always seems to be not concern about me, suddenly asked me if my allowance is sufficient just because I lose a lot of weight back in college. (he then, lectured me on not to starve myself just to buy the latest gadget i.e mobile phones). It's clear where did I get my anxiety gene from. They think that they are capable of controlling many things. If there's an Olympic event on 'Super-controlling-parents', my money is on Asian parents to win the gold medal. Even watching 'The World's Strictest Parents' makes me laugh. They are nowhere near to typical Asian parents.

Asians hate to fail. Asian parents would, at all cost not to fail or not to let their children fail. Are Asians that scared of failing? The image of a samurai performing the Seppuku ritual comes to my mind. Westerner's think failure is mother of success... and they would start of with Thomas Edison's hill of failed light-bulbs.

So, Asian parents, stop worry and accept the fact that you can't control everything.

To read more on The World's Strictest Parents, click the link below. Honestly, they are just a kitten compared to our Tiger parents*
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World's_Strictest_Parents

*To get the idea of how typical Asian parenting is, click the link below
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_Hymn_of_the_Tiger_Mother

There's always first...

I reckon this is my first post, posted not in October. It's November. It's also my first Sabbath here. (but obviously, I didn't go church, typing my blog...) Still in the transitioning mood.

I was watching TEDx on music education by Anita Collins. Yup, music education is mandatory here but only in elementary/primary/year 1-6 school. I hate music classes back then. In the first 3 years, I enjoyed music classes. Singing, making noises. But in the later year, we had a new music teacher. He would hit you if you play your recorder terribly. I kinda have stage fright. My music was horrible, I played the recorder until it literally 'shriek'... (try blowing the recorder very hard and you'll get the most annoying sound in the world... teeth shattering high pitch sound. One might have perforated their eardrums. Enough with the hyperbolic expression.

Besides that, I have problem with the musical notes. To me crochet is an activity akin to knitting. Musical notes look like bean sprouts dangling from the transmission line.

Playing a recorder is also a challenge to me. I had clinodactyly... my little fingers... (nope, I don't have Down Syndrome. I have a friend with simian crease... and again he's not...) The last hole is a challenge. I can't cover the whole hole (uhhh whole hole, nice word play). And I hate every music class.... Until........

During my second year in Uni, we had to choose a complementary subject. One of it is Music. I got out of my comfort zone and enrolled. Actually, the other subject wasn't that appealing. Music seem to be the lesser evil. Most of the people enrolled played at least one musical instrument. I have none. it's a leap of faith. Luckily, one does not need to know how to play instrument to pass. It's mostly on history, musical notes and basic musical knowledge.

I scored the highest albeit having no knowledge on playing musical instrument. Yup, it's actually mathematics, specifically fractions. Our teacher is also a fun person. She's Japanese. A soprano singer, and played a lot of musical instrument, keyed instrument to stringed instrument. She is very nurturing. I strengthened our stereotype on Japanese... very good at music. Initially, we had some problem communicating. Yes, she speaks English but with Japanese accent. Eventually, after a few classes, we are able to comprehend. She's not strict, but we do respect her. She said music should be fun. I wish my former music teacher had the same philosophy.

Since I scored the highest in Music, it helped my GPA and CGPA. I failed my haematology and immunology the previous year. :P

If only I enjoyed musical class earlier, I would have no problem with my maths. I would recommend parents to enroll their children into music classes. But make sure it's fun. Let your children learn music for fun, not just to pass their music exam. In this part of the world, parents tend to brag their children achievement.

example:
Scene 1.
Madam A and Madam B was chatting outside a musical academy. They are waiting for their children.

Madam A: My son is in grade 6 piano.
Madam B: My son is still in grade 5.
Madam A: How old is he? Mine is 7 years old
Madam B: My son is 12.
Madam A: That's my son. See you tomorrow.

Back home, Madam B is scolding her son
Madam B: When are you gonna finish your grade 5, Madam A's son is in Grade 6, and he's 7. Look at you

And Madam A is playing Madama Butterfly... (not related to the situation I want to show you)

See? That's why our children are stressed.  That's why we hate music classes. A colleague of mine hate music classes so much, she blackout the whole memory of playing a piano. How bizarre!


Bye, I need to unpack

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueqgenARzlE