After a long hiatus...

I have a friend. She's in Australia now, asking me how to start blogging.

Honestly, I don't really know how to. I blogged because I was on Facebook detox. Since I couldn't rant on Facebook anymore thus blogging was my platform to blog at that time. Then I stopped blogging once I've completed my Facebook detox. Not that I want to depend of Facebook, it's just that my friends are on Facebook and I kinda missed them as much as they missed me.

Then I started to use Whisper, and then Instagram. That explains why I didn't blog for a long time.

My friend, she seems to enjoy reading my blog. I told her blogging can be therapeutic.

I'm not an expert, but through experience, one need to find a theme before starting a blog entry. Put some thoughts on what you want to add and what message you want to convey to your audience. It could be your daily life, your hobby or your experience. 

As for your first entry, a short introduction about yourself would be fine. You want your audience to know something about you. It's up to you whether to disclose your name and full identity or not. For me, I choose not to. It is sufficient to say that I am a Canadiophile; someone who have deep interest in Canada. For some unknown reason, I just like Canada. Maybe because of the kindness of a Canadian lady who entertained us when we were younger. I still remember that day.

Next is to engage your audience to read your blog. Try to relate to your audience. I don't really know how, but it can be about your childhood story, your pet or anything under the sun. You can see where your audience are from. Or you can interact with your audience.

Finally, keep it positive. Really? Not really. You can be negative too, but try to be polite. You can be angry but be polite. Ranting doesn't always mean swearing all the time. Or you can swear and then apologize for your swearing. That is so Canadian, saying sorry. But it is a good think. People generally think that Canadians are polite because of this stereotype. 

And make sure you enjoy blogging. If you are blogging just to get money, maybe blogging is not suitable for you. 

Turmeric powder vs magic sponge

If you're an Asian... or you cook with turmeric... a lot you'll know how hard it is to remove the yellowish turmeric stain.

Be it on your Tupperware or other plastic containers.

You better use metal or glass or porcelain to contain those turmeric.

But what if you accidentally use a plastic bowl to mix your spices? Well, in our household, most of our plates and bowls are melamineware. Because it is not as fragile as a glass or china one. Personally, I hate those melamine plates, but again, my mother kinda like it. It's hard to get rid of grease on a melamine. Again, being Asian... we are cheap! So melamine wins... at least in our kitchen.

Magic sponge to the rescue!!!

I should have taken the before and after picture but I swear by it, it works!

p/s Magic sponge is also known as melamine sponge.

My story, how it began...

Now, I am withdrawing myself from my usual group. It's not sudden actually, but somehow they think it is.

First of all, this is my side of the story.

It all began when J1 told me that he and L thought that I am a snob, during our first English class. At that time, I was surprised that the English class is not as hard as I anticipated. I was expecting a harder one, similar to IELTS. J1 told me months later just because he was afraid that L would tell me that, thus 'washing' his hands clean.

Personally, I think that it makes things worse. I have trust issue. Had he really been honest, he should have told me earlier, not telling it for the sake of cleaning his hands. So, I began to isolate myself from the group gradually.

Then come the annual dinner. I was trying to forget the incident, trying to let it go. Then, J1 was whispering to J2. When I asked them what are they talking about,, they replied "It's nothing". It makes me feel bad/sad. Again, knowing that they did talk behind my back, I started to overthink. Again I withdrew myself.

I exited the chat group.

The story is not finished yet.

Here comes J3. A girl. I always cover her work, but again, I am invisible. If there's something fun/hip/interesting to share, she'll only share it to J2. She would look for me only if she needs help on assignment.

The last straw was when she asked for help with an assignment, before Valentine's. I had plans on that day, mostly to relax myself at the saloon. She asked for help at the last minute, so I had to cancel my plans. Yes, at that time she did not specifically ask for my help, but again the other members of the group did not respond promptly. Knowing that we would share our marks for group assignment, I have to help that girl.

Worst, after the presentation of the assignment, I was left behind while they are enjoying their lunch.

Since then, I did all my assignment solo.

Well, do you think that's the end of the story. Nope.

Apparently, people would still talk behind my back even when I am minding my own business. One did say that nobody is asking for my help, and even said that I am too arrogant/proud to do things in a group (their group).

Now, I don't want to be the floor mat. I don't want to be invisible. I don't want to be used. Is it my fault to leave the group? No!

To be fair, it is also J2's advice to try to be alone. I took his advice, and still they are not happy with my decision?

All this while, I did my best to help the group. And this is what I get?

J1, always ask for my favour. I help him deal with his car spare parts, even help cleaning his mess with his crush V. I gave him spotlights but when I asked him if he is free for a 'bro-time', he told me that he would be playing badminton with Dayu and Beth. Bro-time is purely boys. I help you, clean your ass and I got cold shoulder when I want to hang out with you?

I'm fed up with this attitude.

Well, I am doing fine alone.

It's better for us to part ways, rather than having ungrateful people use you.

Being Alone Makes You Stronger

yes, like literally.

I exited a chat group, start thinking about fitness and get stronger.

Well, that and the ability to complete an assignment alone, earlier than other groups. That is because I have my own system, I managed myself.

Group assignment are usually done with a person doing his/her part, and then compiling all works together, instead of a true collective work where all members discuss and do together. I think the former strategy is quite messy and haphazard because one have different opinion on the assignment. Hence,, out of sync.

Yep, I feel proud because I could complete a lot alone than those in group.

Feeling accomplished!

I have trust issue

I have a trust issue.

It kinda affect me til this day.

I would doubt most of the time.

I doubt every new friendship. So any friendship that had endured for more than a decade is very precious to me. Because we have endured a lot.

I could not trust any pretty, hot girls

Especially the popular ones. I kinda think that they are fake. Well, that's my first impression, after being the bully victim. 

Some are even not so hot but would use me... especially with their homework.

You know you're a nerd if hot girls surround you only before the class starts... they are there to copy your work.

Now, these girls are (probably) living a happy life, while I am in a rut.

And PTSD.

Well, I could say life is unfair. People are nice to you only when they need your help. And I am a person who could not resist to help. Some are grateful though... they would still remember me, and thank me. Some just acted that nothing had happened.

Now, this poses a dilemma, should I do good and help others? It's a nice thing to do.

Well, just count the blessings. I might not receive the rewards now, but having people thanking you is rewarding enough. 

And be yourself. 

I've been tempted to be selfish this week, focusing more on myself. I need some 'me' time. I have scheduled a 'me' time last Valentines, but cancelled it to help a colleague preparing her presentation slides. I somehow feel that I am not appreciated, because I (through my observation after a year) think that when she had something cool to share, she'll share it with another colleague. I felt like a wall. I suddenly am visible when she needed help. Maybe it's just my assumption. Maybe it's because of the generation gap. I try not to dwell into it, but the negative thoughts would eventually surface again.

So now, I kinda only help anyone who really needs help or someone who are grateful. Well, I should be helping all, but again I am a mere mortal. I have my limits too...

Public Display of Affection... on an escalator.

I hate it when one blocks the way on an escalator. I'll consider the ill or feeble person but not an able-bodied person... (haha, I almost use cabin attendants jargon 'able-bodied passenger')

It would be more irritating if it's a young couple on a date. Like very young couple (school aged teens who were in love for the very first time)

In this part of the world, most people treat escalators as a ride instead of helping one to get to another level faster. I would not mind if that person stands to one side and let anyone behind them to pass-by or children. Like most children, I too had enjoyed escalator 'ride' when I were young. But not to the extend of riding one in Lusaka... (refer to Trevor Noah's stand-up comedy on his trip to Zambia)

One day a very young couple (high school boyfriend and girlfriend) was 'riding' an escalator in front of me. I am not used to 'riding' I climb the escalator. Why waste time on an escalator. Which is why I don't understand why most shopping complexes here don't have stairs near an escalator. Gives me an option if people decides to ride the escalator like a roller-coaster. If an escalator was not working (idle) one still have to climb the escalator... which is actually unsafe.

The pair would not budge even after I said 'excuse me'. They were in their own world. The whole world were theirs. So deeply in love? My goodness they are still young and it's puppy love and they don't know what love really is. Thanks to how movies idolize vampire and werewolves love triangle.

No, not jealous. Just annoyed.

Rechargeable watch?

I'm not sure if there are any rechargeable watch around. Well, I am in a tropical island... very laid back. Not so tech-savvy.

I went for a hike a few weeks ago. And my watch went dead. Or should I say out of charge? It there any expression in English when one need to replace the battery. I'm not a native speaker, please excuse my English. (Over here if anything needs its battery replaced, we would say that it died... maybe because we are so emphatic towards our gadgets and electronic goods)

I still haven't replace the battery. Because now I rely on my phone clock. Even the clock on the dashboard is not showing the right time. It is 10 hours 40 minutes late or maybe 13 hours 20 minutes earlier. So it would be very useful in the middle of the Atlantic... So when the dashboard showed 2350, it's really 1030.

I had the car battery replaced after a big flood fried the ECU and never change the time on the clock. So anybody driving the car would think that it's some sort of gauge instead of a clock.

Back to rechargeable watch. If only I could just recharge the watch instead of looking for a watch shop to replace the dead battery. The watch in question is a Casio, it has both analog and digital display. There's no physical seconds hand (or needle, we called the hands on the clock needles) but it has a 'digitalised' seconds ticker. With the added features (like most Casios) it uses  button batteries instead of one.

The last time I replaced the battery was 4 years ago, because the digital display began to look fuzzy... or faint? And I would need the watch to count the pulse rate and other vital signs. I was still in the big-city then. I bought the watch at a town-near-a-big-river 8 years ago. It's still in a good shape.

I like the watch, It has been with me since before I have PTSD.

p/s I am aware that there's such thing as smartwatch,