Facebook...

I finally logged into my facebook account.

I must admit I cried. One of the message in my inbox was from my late cousin.

Another one is from my former bestie, Dante, telling thanking me for being her friend although I tried to forget her, well most medical school friends.

Another message was from Atiqah, hoping that I continued my study so that we would be in the same group. Yes, Atiqah, if only you didn't went MIA during our 2013 final years, maybe I could stand the pressure. Despite being harsh and quite insecure, she is not a hypocrite. We argued very often but we didn't take our difference seriously. Atiqah, if only, Atiqah.

Well c'est la vie.

I'm not going to use facebook anymore. It's just painful.

Luckily, I logged in. Honestly, I've forgotten when is my bestie, Simone's birthday. After PTSD, I just lost some of the crucial information. Becoming more forgetful, making me doubtful about my credibility to be a doctor. Well, losing a lot of sleep. Nobody could understand a person inflicted with PTSD besides PTSD survivors. Not even doctors or psychiatrist. We are angry at ourselves, others and almost everything under the sun.

We are just angry because it is unfair for us. And the other so-called normal person doesn't think that it's a valid illness. Nobody takes PTSD seriously. We look normal but in our heart, it's either a big black hole or full of resentment.

C'est la vie

p/s It's your birthday tomorrow Bestie!