Why am I el feo. Because I think that I am ugly. Some may say it's overrated. Some say I sell myself short. Even my best friend convinced me that I am way better looking than average Joes. But still I think I am ugly. All those compliments (in my opinion) are just to make me feel good no matter how hard they convinced me. It's my self esteem perhaps. Nobody calls me ugly, actually. But a bully called me 'Shrimp paste faced'. Maybe she's just joking and I'm taking it too serious. Imagine applying Bagoong Alamang to your face like a facial mask.
When I was younger, I wish I am as handsome as Ben Affleck. Or Hugh Jackman or Clive Owen or Gabriel Soto. And I can't understand why Hispanic actors in prime time telenovellas are so handsome. Or the Arabs.
I wonder, do guys have insecurities like me? I don't think so. Regular guys doesn't really care how they look. Why should I? Metrosexual? or low self esteem?
So the el feo refers to the ugliness of my self esteem. And do girls really care how guys look? And do girls objectify men like men do towards girls. I don't objectify girls though. They are human, not things. Being treated like a thing is not fun.
It's kinda odd but I kinda feel flattered when somebody thinks that I am gay when I told them I am single. Well, if good guy are always taken, married, dead or gay. A gay guy is a good guy material then.
In simple arithmetic, SINGLE+GOOD LOOKING=GAY
I may be good looking, but I am still jealous of other good looking guys. So that's ugly. The ugly side of me.
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