Apparently this small city is not just a small city

Was watching the telly. And I saw a familiar face for a drama intro.

Mind you, I haven't watch local TV station for years. I am not into local drama. I would prefer watching documentary or news channel. Not just any news channel, I prefer Al Jazeera. To me, it's the most neutral news channel. You may beg to differ, but that's my opinion.

This change after our satellite broke down. It's windy and our 6 feet dish rendered useless after a strong wind knock the dish down. For now, the only TV channels on our telly are local, terrestrial, analog TV channel. With biased news, sappy drama and so-so reality shows.  

I also haven't check my Facebook for more than a year. Social media detox. And one of the reason why I start blogging is to connect to my very close friends, while keeping my anonymity.  Only a few friends know. I am not ready to expose myself. No, I'm not a fugitive or under witness protection.

Considering myself a failure, I am not ready to face the judgement from others. I might say I am fine, but deep inside, that how I feel. I'm lucky to have understanding friends.

Not on facebook, I lose cantact with most acquaintance. Old schoolmates, classmates even collegemate. So, it's safe to say, I'm in the dark with my surroundings, locally. Maybe, I just don't care.

So, back to the familiar face I saw on the telly. Apparently, one of my classmate is the main actress in this drama. I'm a bit of stalker, so I Googled up her name, full name. Nothing. Then, I recalled her name as in Facebook. There, she's acting with another popular local actor. She's an eye candy, so not really a big surprise. Unlike me, an ugly person.

My classmates. Some are engineers, some are doctors, another one is a film director, actress, model (yes, a model. It's safe to say I sat next to a model during my senior year in school)

And I am just another crazy, intelligent (not my own word) 'failed' medical student. No, I don't fail, I just quit. I quit because I don't really want to be a hypocrite. Calling myself a professional when there's nothing professional about doctors. I may have PTED from my university years. Only not as apparent as my PTSD. I just don't trust their system.

Not having a support system, I am prone to negativity. Or is it just SAD. SAD as in Seasonal Affective Disorder. Gloomy days, gloomy me.